Chang'e in Wonderland
by Chessure
Summary: It was a normal day for Chang'e, then she fell down a Janus portal. Now in a strange location filled with familiar faces, she must venture forth in Wonderland and find what secrets lurk in there. Rated T for teapots.


**A/N: I really shouldn't be writing this, but I couldn't get the idea off my head. Anyways, the writing style might be strongly influenced by Alice in Wonderland, but I'll try my best not to make it so...so...**

 **Well, you'll see. Here goes an attempt at humor, Wonderland, and strange peculiarities!**

* * *

It had been a normal day for Chang'e so far, killing Gods, killing minions, striking down towers with her simple basic attacks, but never had she considered the idea she would have fallen down one of Janus's portals into a seemingly endless rabbit hole. But that's what happens when two Janus's appear, causing a paradox in the fabric of space and time.

She was still falling down the hole as five minutes passed. She used the time to contemplate her current predicament. Perhaps, she thought, she was going to end up somewhere in the underworld. She hoped it wouldn't be the Ninth Layer of Hell, as she wasn't fond of Ah Puch.

She air-waltzed out of the way of an incoming tea table, grabbing a tea cup on her way down. Sadly, it was empty and devoid of tea. Passing by a cupboard she placed the cup next to a miniature statue of the Gold Fury.

Then, in a sudden moment, she broke through a hard surface, landing on the cold cobblestone floor. She laid there for a moment, fearful that she had broken her bones, but after a while forced herself up. She was fine. She felt no pain, and the only thing broken was the fragile ceiling.

She dusted off particles of dust off her...dress? She looked down to find a new design on her clothing. It was still her normal dress, regardless. Clouds swirled on the surface, with a silhouette of a rabbit embedded inside a full moon. It was a simple pattern, but she also noticed small things like card suits placed in on the outer edges of the moon or floating next to clouds. Red Hearts, Blue Spades, White Diamonds, and Green Clovers were scattered everywhere.

It was strange, but she liked the design.

"Oh dear," she giggled, speaking in what had been for a long time. She took comfort in the fact that there was nobody there to listen to her voice. But she spoke too soon as she spotted a white rabbit wearing a red and black waist coat rush down the hallway in front of her.

"I'm late! I'm late! For an extremely critical appointment!"

Was that Yue Tu? Why was he dressed in such strange yet fashionable clothing? She quickly gave chase, levitating in a hurry to catch up with her furry companion. She turned the corner and reached a circular room filled with doors of all sizes, and curtains that swayed to a nonexistent breeze. In her surprise, she saw a silhouette of a shrunken down Yue Tu, but was nowhere to be seen.

"Curses," she whispered in malice. " _He_ heard me," she narrowed her eyes. No one was allowed to hear her speak. Not Yue Tu or even her husband, Hou Yi.

She checked the dusty door, but each one was locked. She attacked one of them with a Crescent-Moonflower-Waxing Moon combo, ending it with a powerful kick to break it down, but all she heard was mocking laughter from behind a red curtain.

She checked the smaller door, which had...the face of Ah Puch. It was rather ugly with its beautiful grotesque details. "Hey, lady! You'll never get through this room, mwahahahahahah! Ack-!" He burst into a coughing fit.

Closing the curtain despite Ah Puch's complaints, she turned around, and much to her surprise, found a glass table that wasn't there before. On its surface was a small white cake, the words _Eat Me_ beautifully craftedon its frosting. Next to that sat a green potion bottle with a label that said _Drink Me._ A small golden key laid next to the plate.

Grabbing the key first, she twisted and turned to open each door, and much to her disgust, the last door remaining was Ah Puch, who muttered something about dead corpses and the such. She brashly closed the curtains.

"Hmm." She returned to the table. They were suspicious items in a strange room, but maybe they were a hint of sorts. Grabbing the cake, she took a careful bite, a flavor of chocolate and three coins of a dead man's pocket filling her senses. It was a peculiar taste.

At first she felt nothing, and then after a few seconds, she began to grow to fill the entire room, until her body was cramped and positioned awkwardly.

"Hey lady! Stop growing so much! I'm _trying_ to take a nap here!" Ah Puch growled behind the curtain.

How did he even know?

"..."

She assumed the potion had the opposite effect. Slowly, she reached toward the potion bottle, careful to pinch it between her fingers. She engulfed of its fruity contents, returning to normal size.

Thankfully, her dress was still intact.

She turned her head toward the key, before a look of disgust formed on her face. She figured out the puzzle, but she didn't want even be near the Ah Puch door. With a heavy sigh, she opened the curtains again, but with the key held threateningly in her hands.

"Don't you dare stuf-mmhp!" She already jammed the key in his mouth and forced him open, not even bothering to look outside at the beautiful garden as she turned toward the table.

Another drink of the potion, she felt herself shrink and with a satisfied look, headed toward the outside.

"Hey! Hey! You forgot to-" Ah Puch spat out the key, "close the door! And eat your unfinished cake! Tch. Live people these days." He forced himself closed, creaking obnoxiously until he slammed shut. He observed the now empty room in content silence, before he began to talk to himself about corpses once more.


End file.
